A healthy, satisfying sex life is about much more than performance or frequency. When you ask, “what are the 7 principles of sexual health,” you are really asking, “what does it look like to have sex that feels safe, respectful, pleasurable, and aligned with my values over a lifetime?”
Below, you will explore two influential frameworks that answer this question:
- The Pleasure Principles from The Pleasure Project, a sex positive, pleasure focused framework
- The Six Principles of Sexual Health from Doug Braun Harvey and colleagues, a widely used clinical model
Together, they give you a clear roadmap for understanding and improving your own sexual health.
Understanding sexual health beyond risk
For a long time, sexual health education focused almost entirely on risk, for example avoiding pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. That information is important, but it leaves out a huge piece of the picture, your right to pleasure, emotional well being, and autonomy.
The Pleasure Project notes that sex positivity starts with the idea that sex is a natural part of life and that you deserve to explore sexuality and gender without shame or judgment, as long as consent and safety are present (The Case for Her). When pleasure is included in sexual health programs, people actually make safer choices, including more consistent condom use and better understanding of their options (The Case for Her).
At the same time, therapists like Doug Braun Harvey remind you that many people come to therapy with questions about behavior, desire, or affairs, which are only one part of sexual health. His Six Principles are designed to help you build a personal vision of sexual health that balances safety, rights, and pleasure (The Harvey Institute).
The Pleasure Project’s 7 Pleasure Principles
The Pleasure Project created the Pleasure Principles after the World Association for Sexual Health formally recognized sexual pleasure as a key human right (The Case for Her). These seven principles are especially useful if you want to bring more joy and confidence into your sex life.
According to The Pleasure Project, the seven principles are (The Pleasure Project):
- Love Yourself
- Embrace Learning
- Talk Sexy
- Be Flexible
- Think Universal
- Rights First
- Be Positive
Let us look at how you can apply each one.
1. Love yourself
Loving yourself in a sexual context means treating your body, desires, and limits with respect. Instead of judging your fantasies or comparing your body to others, you begin with curiosity and kindness.
You might start by noticing how you talk to yourself about sex. Do you call yourself “weird” or “broken” for what you like or do not like? Shifting that inner voice to something more compassionate supports self esteem, which is deeply connected to satisfaction and desire.
2. Embrace learning
Your body and preferences change over time. Embracing learning means you allow yourself to be a beginner, to ask questions, and to seek out accurate information rather than relying on myths or pornography alone.
You could read books by sex educators, attend workshops, or talk with a trusted health care provider about topics like contraception for pleasure, not only for pregnancy prevention. Research shows that pleasure focused education improves knowledge about safer sex and better health outcomes (The Case for Her).
3. Talk sexy
“Talking sexy” is less about using a certain kind of language and more about feeling able to talk openly about sex at all. This principle encourages you to share your desires, boundaries, and fears with partners, in a way that feels safe and honest.
You might practice small steps, such as:
- Saying what feels good or not so good in the moment
- Sharing one thing you would like to try next time
- Checking in about how your partner is feeling physically and emotionally
Open communication strengthens emotional intimacy and can improve satisfaction for both of you (St. Vincent’s Medical Center).
4. Be flexible
Being flexible means recognizing that your sex life will ebb and flow. Illness, stress, parenting, aging, and shifting identities all affect how you experience desire and pleasure.
Instead of seeing changes as “problems,” flexibility invites you to adapt:
- Trying new forms of touch or positions if your body changes
- Exploring different ways to be intimate when one or both of you is tired or stressed
- Understanding that libido naturally fluctuates across your life
This mindset reduces pressure and helps you stay connected to pleasure even when things are not perfect.
5. Think universal
Sexual health is not just about you as an individual, it is also about equity and inclusion. Thinking universal means recognizing that people of all genders, orientations, bodies, and abilities deserve access to sexual pleasure and rights.
You can practice this by examining biases you might have picked up from culture or media and by supporting inclusive sex education that covers diverse experiences. When you understand sexuality more broadly, it often becomes easier to accept your own.
6. Rights first
“Rights first” reminds you that sexual pleasure must always be grounded in human rights. That includes the right to choose if, when, and how you have sex, the right to say no, and the right to accurate information and health care.
In everyday life, this might look like:
- Listening carefully when a partner sets a boundary
- Trusting your own discomfort and stopping if something does not feel right
- Seeking care for pain, low desire, or other concerns without shame
The Pleasure Project links this principle directly to the international Declaration on Sexual Pleasure, which recognizes pleasure as a core part of sexual rights (The Case for Her).
7. Be positive
Being positive is not about forcing yourself to feel sexy all the time. It is about seeing sex as a potential source of joy, connection, and healing, rather than as something dirty or dangerous by default.
You might notice where shame shows up for you, for example around masturbation, certain positions, or talking about sex at all. Reframing sex as a normal part of well being, just like sleep or nutrition, supports a healthier relationship with your body and with partners.
When pleasure is treated as a valid goal, people tend to communicate more, use protection more consistently, and feel more empowered in their choices. That is why pleasure based sexual health is gaining so much attention in research and policy (The Case for Her).
The Six Principles of Sexual Health
Doug Braun Harvey and colleagues developed the Six Principles of Sexual Health to give people and clinicians a shared language for “what healthy sex looks like” (The Harvey Institute). These principles are:
- Consent
- Non exploitative behavior
- Honesty
- Shared values
- Prevention
- Pleasure
They overlap with the Pleasure Principles but add more detail about safety and ethics.
1. Consent
Consent is the foundation. It means everyone involved actively agrees to what is happening, understands what they are agreeing to, and feels free to say no or change their mind at any point.
Consent is not a one time checkbox. You practice it by:
- Checking in verbally, especially when you try something new
- Paying attention to body language and energy
- Respecting a “no” or “not right now” without pushing
As therapist Natalie Orosen notes, consent is the most universal requirement for sexual health (Natalie Orosen).
2. Non exploitative behavior
Sex should not come from pressure, manipulation, or power imbalances. Non exploitative behavior means you are not using your position, money, or authority to obtain sex, and you are not agreeing to sex because you feel you have to in order to keep a job, a home, or a relationship.
An example of exploitation would be a boss implying that an employee must have sex to keep their job. Even if that person says “yes,” it is not healthy consent because of the power difference (Natalie Orosen).
You can reflect on where power shows up in your own relationships and make an effort to level the field and invite genuine choice.
3. Honesty
Honesty in sexual health does not mean you lose all privacy. It means you share information that materially affects your partner’s well being or expectations.
This might include:
- Your relationship status and agreements
- Any relevant STI information or pregnancy risks
- Your intentions, for example whether you are seeking a long term relationship or casual sex
Braun Harvey emphasizes that you can still have erotic mystery and private fantasies while maintaining the level of honesty needed for healthy sex (Natalie Orosen).
4. Shared values
You and your partner do not need to have identical beliefs, but you do need enough shared values about what sex means to each of you. Without this, you may experience painful misunderstandings.
For instance, if one of you sees sex as something that only happens in committed relationships and the other sees it as purely recreational, conflict is likely. Talking explicitly about what sex represents for you helps you find alignment or notice when your values are too far apart.
5. Prevention
Prevention covers protection from STIs, HIV, and unintended pregnancy. It is the part of sexual health many of us learned first, and it is still crucial.
Practicing prevention might include:
- Using condoms or other barriers
- Choosing contraception that fits your body and life
- Getting regular STI testing as recommended for your situation
Prevention is not only about risk reduction. It also protects your ability to enjoy sex without constant worry, which supports desire and pleasure.
6. Pleasure
Pleasure is deliberately included as one of the Six Principles, not as an afterthought. You and your partners deserve the chance to both give and receive pleasure, and no one should be routinely ignored or sacrificed in the sexual dynamic (Natalie Orosen).
Prioritizing pleasure can mean:
- Making time for sex instead of squeezing it in as an obligation
- Exploring what actually feels good to your body rather than what you think “should” be sexy
- Speaking up if sex is painful, boring, or disconnected, and seeking support if needed
Clinicians note that many people seek therapy for issues like low desire, affairs, or dissatisfaction, but these are just symptoms. Working toward these six principles helps address the deeper patterns underneath (The Harvey Institute).
Everyday habits that support sexual health
Understanding the principles is one part. You also support sexual health with basic lifestyle choices that keep your body and mind in good shape for intimacy.
Research from Hartford HealthCare highlights several daily habits that can make a real difference (St. Vincent’s Medical Center):
- Move your body regularly. Even 20 to 30 minutes of brisk walking, cycling, or strength training a few times a week can improve blood flow, stamina, and hormone balance, all of which support sexual function.
- Prioritize sleep. Aim for seven to nine hours of quality sleep each night to help regulate hormones like testosterone, which affect desire and performance.
- Manage stress. Chronic stress raises cortisol, which can dampen libido. Mindfulness, yoga, deep breathing, or simple walks can help protect your sexual desire.
- Eat in a way that supports energy. Focus on fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Very heavy meals right before sex can create discomfort and make intimacy less appealing.
- Nurture emotional connection. Check in with your partner, express appreciation, and carve out phone free time together. Emotional closeness often amplifies sexual satisfaction.
These habits do not replace the principles of consent, rights, and communication. Instead, they give you a stronger foundation so sex feels better physically and emotionally.
Putting the principles into practice
You do not have to perfect every principle overnight. Sexual health is a lifelong process, and both frameworks are meant as guides rather than strict rules.
To get started, you might pick one or two areas that feel most relevant right now, for example:
- Improving how you talk about sex with a partner
- Setting a clearer boundary around what you do not want
- Scheduling a check up to talk about pain, low desire, or contraception
- Challenging a shame based belief you learned earlier in life
Over time, you can revisit the question “what are the 7 principles of sexual health” as a check in with yourself. Are you honoring your rights, embracing pleasure, communicating honestly, and caring for your body and mind?
Each small step you take in these directions is a step toward a more confident, fulfilling, and healthy sexual life.
