A healthy sex life is about much more than avoiding infections or problems in the bedroom. The six principles of sexual health give you a clear, practical framework to think about your desires, your boundaries, and your relationships in a more intentional way. When you understand these six principles of sexual health, you have a roadmap for sexual experiences that are safer, more satisfying, and aligned with your values.
These principles were developed by therapist Doug Braun Harvey in 2009, based on a 2000 definition of sexual health from the Pan American Health Association. They were designed as a broad, international framework for personal sexual health that balances sexual safety, pleasure, and sexual rights (The Harvey Institute). You can use them as a set of minimum ground rules while you define what a healthy sex life looks like for you.
Below, you will explore each of the six principles with simple explanations and real life ways to start applying them.
What are the six principles of sexual health
The six principles of sexual health are:
- Consent
- Non exploitative behavior
- Honesty
- Shared values
- Prevention
- Pleasure
Each principle is equally important. Together they are meant to guide you through a lifetime of improving your sexual health and relationships, not just to fix one specific issue (The Harvey Institute).
Think of them as questions you can return to again and again:
- Is everyone freely choosing and agreeing to this?
- Is anyone being pressured, manipulated, or put at risk?
- Am I being truthful with myself and others?
- Do we agree on what this experience means?
- Are we taking care of our physical health and safety?
- Is there room for pleasure, curiosity, and joy here?
As you read through each principle, notice where you already feel strong and where you might want to grow.
Consent: Voluntary, informed, and ongoing
Consent is the foundation of all the other principles. Without it, you do not have sexual health, no matter how careful you are about protection or how long you have been with someone.
Consent means voluntary cooperation and mutual agreement about what is happening sexually (Sexual Health Alliance). You and any partner need to be able to say yes or no freely, without fear, pressure, or confusion.
What consent looks like in practice
Healthy consent is:
- Clear: You both understand what you are agreeing to.
- Enthusiastic: It feels like a genuine yes, not a reluctant maybe.
- Informed: You know what is planned, including any risks or boundaries.
- Ongoing: You can change your mind at any point, and that is respected.
Consent is not a one time checkbox. It is a conversation that can sound like:
- “Is this still feeling good to you?”
- “I am not comfortable going further than this tonight.”
- “Can we slow down and talk about what each of us wants?”
Consent protects your autonomy and your partner’s autonomy. It also deepens emotional connection, because open communication and respect tend to build trust and intimacy (Power to Decide).
Non exploitative behavior: No pressure or power games
Non exploitation means no one is using power, manipulation, or someone else’s vulnerability to get what they want sexually. For sexual health, your encounters need to be free of coercion and danger, especially when someone cannot clearly state or enforce their boundaries.
This principle is about more than obvious abuse. It asks you to look at subtle power differences, like age, status, money, intoxication, or emotional dependence, and to be sure sex is still truly mutual.
According to sexual health educators, non exploitation involves preventing power imbalances from undermining consent and autonomy, and it is essential for ethical, healthy sexual interactions (Sexual Health Alliance).
Signs an interaction is not fully non exploitative
You may want to reflect if:
- Someone is drunk, high, or otherwise unable to make clear decisions.
- You feel like you “owe” sex in exchange for gifts, a place to stay, grades, or job security.
- Saying no feels unsafe because of threats, anger, or emotional blackmail.
- There is a large age or power difference, and you are unsure how to assert your needs.
If any of this sounds familiar, it does not mean you are broken. It does mean you deserve safer, more respectful experiences going forward and possibly support in sorting through what has happened in the past.
Honesty: Truthful with yourself and others
Honesty in sexual health is about being truthful about your desires, boundaries, and health status. It is the key to building trust and creating relationships where everyone can make informed choices.
Sexual health experts note that honesty supports open communication, better decision making, and more satisfying relationships (Power to Decide). Without honesty, you and your partner are making decisions based on guesses, and that can easily lead to resentment or harm.
Where honesty matters most
You practice honesty when you:
- Share what you like and do not like, instead of pretending.
- Talk about your STI status, testing history, and any potential risks.
- Say when you are not in the mood, even if you worry about disappointing someone.
- Admit when you agreed to something but later realized you are not okay with it anymore.
Honesty can feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you are used to avoiding conflict or people pleasing. Over time, though, it usually leads to deeper connection and a sex life that actually fits who you are.
Shared values: Agreeing on what sex means
Shared values do not mean you and a partner must have the exact same beliefs about everything. Instead, this principle asks whether your expectations about sex line up enough that you are not working at cross purposes.
Shared sexual values can include views on:
- Consent and communication
- Respect and monogamy or non monogamy
- Contraception and pregnancy choices
- STI prevention and testing
- The emotional meaning of sex, for example casual, romantic, spiritual, exploratory
When partners share values about consent, communication, respect, contraception, and STI prevention, it creates a framework for healthier sexual relationships (Power to Decide).
How to explore shared values
You might ask questions such as:
- “What does sex mean to you in a relationship?”
- “How do you feel about exclusivity and flirting with other people?”
- “What kind of protection do you prefer using, and how often do you get tested?”
- “What would happen if one of us wanted sex more or less often than the other?”
These conversations help you see whether a specific partnership can support your version of sexual health. If your values are very different, it might still be a good relationship, but you will need more care and negotiation.
Prevention: Taking care of your physical health
Prevention is the aspect of sexual health most people already know something about. It includes preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs), blood borne infections, and unplanned pregnancies, and managing your health if something does happen.
Prevention is not just the responsibility of one person. Healthy sexual relationships involve shared responsibility for contraception, testing, and safety planning. That means talking openly about risk, status, and comfort levels rather than leaving one partner to “manage it” alone.
Sexual health organizations emphasize that STI and pregnancy prevention are essential parts of sexual health, and that prevention requires understanding your status, using appropriate protection, and having ongoing conversations about these topics (Power to Decide, Sexual Health Alliance).
Practical prevention steps
Depending on your body, partners, and type of sex, prevention might include:
- Barrier methods like external condoms, internal condoms, and dental dams
- Hormonal birth control or non hormonal options, such as IUDs or fertility awareness
- Regular STI testing for you and your partner or partners
- Use of HIV prevention medications, such as PrEP or PEP, if appropriate
- Discussing and planning for what you would do if a pregnancy occurred
Prevention does not mean living in fear. Instead, when you have a plan and share responsibility, you often feel safer, more relaxed, and more present in the moment.
Pleasure: Allowing joy and curiosity
Pleasure is sometimes treated as a bonus when everything else is “taken care of”. In the six principles of sexual health, pleasure is a core requirement. A healthy sex life is not just safe, it is also enjoyable and meaningful.
Pleasure means exploring and accepting your own erotic desires, without being boxed in by shame or rigid expectations about what you should want. It encourages you to stay curious about your body and your sexuality throughout your life.
Sexual health experts describe pleasure as a vital principle that supports lifelong curiosity and enjoyment, and they encourage a non judgmental approach to diverse desires even when they do not match social norms or previous identities (Power to Decide, Sexual Health Alliance).
Making room for pleasure
You nurture pleasure when you:
- Give yourself permission to want what you want, as long as it is consensual and non exploitative.
- Slow down during sexual experiences so you can actually feel what is happening.
- Explore different types of touch, fantasy, or connection, at your own pace.
- Recognize that your desires might change over time, and that is normal.
If pleasure feels like the hardest principle for you, you are not alone. Many people carry shame, trauma, or body image struggles that make pleasure complicated. In those cases, it might help to start small, for example noticing simple physical comforts, or to seek support from a trusted professional.
Putting the six principles together in your life
The six principles of sexual health are not a test you pass or fail. They are a lifelong framework you can return to as your relationships and your identity shift. Sexual health concerns that bring people to therapy, such as desire differences, infidelity, or specific behaviors, are only a small part of what these principles are meant to address (The Harvey Institute).
A helpful way to work with them is to check in with yourself using a simple table like the one below.
| Principle | Ask yourself | Next small step |
|---|---|---|
| Consent | Do I feel free to say yes or no at every stage? | Practice saying “Can we pause?” when you need a break. |
| Non exploitative | Is anyone being pressured, used, or put at risk? | Notice power differences and name them out loud with a trusted partner. |
| Honesty | Am I being truthful about my desires, limits, and status? | Choose one thing to share more directly next time you talk about sex. |
| Shared values | Do our expectations about sex and relationships line up? | Ask a partner one values question from the list above. |
| Prevention | Are we taking care of STI and pregnancy prevention together? | Schedule your next test or review your protection plan. |
| Pleasure | Is there room for curiosity, fun, and satisfaction? | Set aside time to explore what actually feels good for you. |
These principles are aspirations and goals, not rigid rules. You will have moments where you fall short or realize you want to do things differently. That is part of growth. Each time you revisit the six principles of sexual health, you give yourself another chance to create a sexual life that supports your self respect, your relationships, and your place in the wider community (The Harvey Institute).
You do not have to change everything at once. Choose one principle that feels most important right now, take a small, concrete step, and notice how your sense of safety, satisfaction, or connection begins to shift.
