A healthy sexual life is about much more than physical pleasure. It affects your emotions, relationships, self-esteem, and long-term wellbeing. If you are wondering, what are five unhealthy sexual behaviors, you are already taking an important step toward protecting your health and the health of others.
Below, you will learn what experts consider unhealthy, why these behaviors matter, and how you can move toward safer, more respectful choices.
Understanding what makes sexual behavior unhealthy
Sexual behavior becomes unhealthy when it harms you or someone else, or when it gets in the way of a balanced life. According to child protection specialists, sexual behaviors are considered problematic when they are extensive, suggest a preoccupation with sex, or involve others in ways that are not consensual or appropriate for their age (Safe Kids Thrive).
This idea applies across ages. An unhealthy pattern can show up as unsafe practices, crossing boundaries, using sex to cope with distress, or acting in ways that are aggressive or coercive.
1. Non consensual or coercive sexual behavior
Any sexual behavior that happens without clear, freely given consent is unhealthy and harmful. Consent means that everyone involved understands what is happening and genuinely agrees to it without pressure, fear, manipulation, or impairment.
Experts who work with children and teens describe problematic sexual behavior as including non-consensual activities and aggressive actions that can harm others (Safe Kids Thrive). The same principles apply in adult relationships.
Unhealthy patterns in this area can include:
- Ignoring a partner’s “no,” hesitation, or discomfort
- Pressuring someone with guilt, threats, or repeated requests
- Engaging in sexual activity with someone who is intoxicated or unable to understand what is happening
- Sharing intimate photos or videos of someone without their permission
These behaviors are not just unhealthy, they can be abusive and illegal. If you recognize any of these in your own behavior, taking responsibility and seeking professional help can protect others and help you build healthier ways of relating.
2. Unprotected sex and other unsafe practices
Unprotected sex is one of the most common unhealthy sexual behaviors. It increases your risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unintended pregnancy.
A 2022 study of 285 sexually active adolescents in Spain found that about one in three did not use condoms during intercourse, which the authors highlighted as a key unsafe behavior (PMC). The same study found that not using condoms was closely linked with other serious problems, including partner violence and mental health difficulties (PMC).
Unhealthy sexual practices in this category can include:
- Having intercourse without condoms or other barrier methods, especially with new partners
- Not getting regular STI testing when you are sexually active with more than one partner
- Avoiding honest conversations about sexual history, testing, and contraception
- Letting a partner control whether protection is used even when you feel unsafe
The study mentioned above also found that adolescents with lower self-esteem and more behavioral problems were more likely to skip condom use (PMC). This suggests that working on your sense of self-worth and emotional health is part of improving your sexual health too.
3. Using sex as a coping strategy
Sometimes you might turn to sex to escape painful emotions, numb stress, or feel valued. In small ways this can seem harmless, but over time it can become an unhealthy pattern, especially if you feel out of control or regret your choices afterward.
Research on survivors of childhood sexual trauma shows that they are more likely to engage in high-risk sexual behaviors and extreme coping strategies, which can include unhealthy sexual behavior (VAWnet). In these cases, sex can become a way to manage overwhelming feelings or trauma rather than a choice grounded in desire and mutual connection.
Warning signs that you might be using sex to cope include:
- Having sex even when you do not feel emotionally safe or genuinely interested
- Feeling empty, ashamed, or distressed after sexual encounters
- Using sex to avoid thinking about trauma, depression, anxiety, or other life problems
- Feeling like you have to be sexual to keep someone close or to feel worthwhile
If any of this resonates with you, it can help to pause and ask what you are really needing in those moments. Support from a therapist, counselor, or support group can help you find healthier ways to handle stress and emotional pain.
4. Sex linked to violence, control, or humiliation
When sex becomes tied to aggression, intimidation, or control, it moves into clearly unhealthy territory. This can show up in different ways, from obvious physical violence to more subtle intimidation.
In school and youth settings, specialists report that problematic sexual behavior often includes aggressive acts or ongoing preoccupation with sexual activity that harms others (Safe Kids Thrive). In adult relationships, this can look like partner violence, forced sex, or sexual situations where one person holds power over the other.
A study of Spanish adolescents found that experiencing partner violence, including physical, psychological, or sexual abuse, was strongly associated with not using condoms (PMC). When violence enters the relationship, it often affects decisions about safety and consent.
Unhealthy patterns in this area can include:
- Using threats, anger, or physical force in sexual situations
- Ignoring a partner’s pain, fear, or boundaries during sex
- Humiliating or degrading a partner sexually without their active interest and consent
- Using sex to punish or reward a partner in order to control them
If you are experiencing this behavior from someone else, it is not your fault. Support from a trusted friend, helpline, or professional can help you stay safer and explore your options.
5. Sexual behavior shaped by untreated trauma or mental health issues
Your mental health and sexual health are closely connected. When you are dealing with untreated depression, anxiety, trauma, or very low self-esteem, your sexual choices and experiences can easily become unhealthy.
Survivors of sexual trauma often report a wide range of sexual difficulties. These can include high-risk sexual behaviors, low desire, sexual dysfunction, or extreme coping strategies that involve sex (VAWnet). These patterns are not character flaws, they are understandable responses to very painful experiences.
The Spanish adolescent study mentioned earlier also found that higher levels of depression, anxiety, and stress were independently associated with a greater risk of not using condoms, with up to a 19 percent increase in risk for each unit increase in depression and anxiety scores (PMC). Low self-esteem was also linked to inconsistent condom use (PMC).
You might notice unhealthy effects like:
- Avoiding intimacy altogether or feeling disconnected during sex
- Engaging in sex without considering your safety or emotional needs
- Feeling compelled to have sex even when you would prefer not to
- Difficulty experiencing pleasure, trust, or comfort with a partner
If you recognize yourself here, reaching out for mental health support is not a sign of weakness. It is a direct investment in your overall wellbeing, including your sexual health.
When sexual behavior becomes problematic in children and teens
If you are a parent, caregiver, or educator, you might also be concerned about young people in your life. It can be hard to tell what is age appropriate and what is a warning sign.
Child safety experts note that sexual behaviors in children become unhealthy when they are extensive, driven by preoccupation, or involve others without consent or in ways that are not appropriate for their age or development (Safe Kids Thrive). These behaviors may indicate that a child has been exposed to violence, abuse, or explicit material they are not ready to process.
In schools, problematic behavior can include non-consensual touching, persistent sexual comments, or aggressive sexual actions that require prompt intervention and specialist treatment (Safe Kids Thrive). Massachusetts law, for example, decriminalizes sexual behavior in children under 12 in order to encourage families to seek help without fear of prosecution and to focus on treatment and support instead of punishment (Safe Kids Thrive).
If you notice concerning behaviors in a child or teen, you are not expected to handle it alone. Talking with a pediatrician, school counselor, or child therapist can help you figure out what is normal curiosity and what needs professional attention.
Unhealthy sexual behavior is often a signal that something deeper needs care, such as trauma, low self-esteem, or unmet emotional needs. Addressing the root cause is key to real change.
How you can move toward healthier sexual behavior
Knowing what are five unhealthy sexual behaviors is only part of the picture. The next step is deciding what small actions you can take to support your sexual health.
You might start by:
- Checking in with yourself before sexual activity and asking, “Do I truly want this right now, and do I feel safe?”
- Having open conversations with partners about consent, protection, and boundaries
- Getting regular STI testing if you are sexually active
- Seeking support for trauma, depression, anxiety, or self-esteem issues that might shape your choices
- Learning more about healthy relationships and communication
You do not need to fix everything at once. Even one change, such as deciding to always use condoms with new partners or reaching out to a therapist, can improve your sense of safety and control.
Sexual health is not about being perfect. It is about being informed, respecting your own boundaries and those of others, and getting help when you notice patterns that do not feel right. Every step you take toward healthier behavior is a step toward a more confident and satisfying sexual life.
